"5 weeks ✨️ And 1 week until I can announce a lil secret i've been keeping 😜 In the meantime, a bit of Thursday trivia for everyone is up until 22 weeks ago I never really wore heels. Standing at almost 6 foot without them, I always felt like I was too tall and taking up too much space (ahh past Nikki you fool). Excitingly with these 7 inch heels I'll be pushing 6'6 on stage and proudly taking up all the space. 22 weeks ago, I could barely stand in heels for longer than 5 mins. It wasn't until I met @theonlymaheen and she literally gave me the shoes she was wearing to test drive did I really start to get comfortable in them and understand how to pivot from the back foot properly (thanks queen, forever grateful for you ❤️). It's taken practising every day to feel comfortable and confident enough that I won't break a neck on stage in them to get to this point. If you want something bad enough, you'll put in the work to get there - remember that. 5 weeks to peel and refine 👏🙏 Locked, loaded, full send - all gas no brakes (unless it's for a nap) - let's goooo 😈"

"I was recently going through my camera roll trying to find a photo that showed my most depressed point, what I ended up finding were photos of me smiling which truthfully explains it so much better than any sad photo could. When you think about depression you probably think of someone looking a bit like Eeyore, right? Instincively, you might think of the person who has stopped functioning - no energy to move off the couch, crying all the time, etc and that's true too (i've been both) more commonly though, depression looks like the friend who's happy, or the person who puts everyone else first, or the person who keeps themselves constantly busy. That's the trouble with depression it's frighteningly easy to hide, especially if you're not looking for the subtleties. When I look back at the points that lead up to when I stopped functioning, there were some tell-tale signs along the way to it - my appearance changed pretty drastically, I'd gained a lot of weight, I was unkempt and had no pride in myself, I started to withdraw socially, I was drinking more in both volume and frequency, constantly puffing on a vape to ease my anxiety and mind, I could go on for days tbh. From the outside I'm certain most people would of seen me and thought wow Nikki has really let herself go, I was smiling to the world, so it could be assumed I was fine, yet the truth is I was struggling and hiding it behind a smiling face. It's pretty easy to judge other people, we have all been guilty of it at one point in our lives, yet everyone is fighting battles we all"

"Picture this: It's 7am, you see a tall lady in brown track pants, a red fur coat and undone shoe laces charging down the street of your small town with a backpack on, bag of spinach and sugar free powerade in one hand and a container of food and 2L water bottle in the other looking stressed as fuck (thinking she's going to miss the train). Now picture this: said lady arrives at the station, 15 mins early of course, realising how insane that must have looked to the outside world and starts cracking up to herself whilst stuffing salad leaves into meal prepped containers to save space in the already over packed backpack 😂😂 At this point, I'm unsure if prep has finally cracked me or if this is normal but imma call it - Prep 1, Nikki 0 Yes, someone did ask me if I was ok 🤣 They thought I was hysterically crying due to the fact I was trying so hard to stifle my own laughter and not look completely crazy #fail T minus 5 weeks until I have some of my brain capacity back 🥳👻🤙"

"Your great life isn't going to be achieved by playing it small, risk being seen in all of your glory ✨️ Own it. Lean into it. Send it 🌞🌻 . . . . . . . . . . . . . #motivation #wbff #fitness #discipline #health #ownitleanintoitsendit #wbffcompetitor #mindset #growthmindset #queen #bigqueenenergy #confidence #empowerment #sobriety #soberissexy #soberlife #alcoholfree #freedom #photoshoot"

"One of the best aspects of posing is how empowering it is when you have fun, let loose and bring you into it. It's an expression and performance of you, that's what creates the magic ✨️ Whether your vibe is sexy, bad bitch, sassy, fierce, sensual, cute, camp, playful, strong, funny etc you can create a routine that displays exactly that and as a result exactly who you are. It truely is an art form and one that i am so grateful @theonlymaheen has given me so much creative freedom with. Posing has taught me more about confidence and loving who I see in the mirror more than anything else. Week by week I see this Nikki that was always there but lacked the confidence, or place to lean into it, come out to play and i think dayum, there she is 😍🔥😈 It's taught me there is no shame in being confident (imma go into this in another post later) - it's sexy and magnetic. You've gotta own that shit, lean into it and send it baby. I genuinely can't wait to bring our art to life on stage in a sparkly bikini in less than 5 weeks and show everyone who i am 😍. Until then we keep working to make it as close to a masterpiece as possible 🎨 What is your posing vibe and what do you think mine is? 😜"

"Note to self: take up journalling rather than putting feelings on the internet, especially during prep 😂 she's back and ready to rumble 😈 #callingmyselfout . . . . . . . . #wbff #wbffaustralia #posing #wbffbikini #fitness #wbfftransformation"

"A few years ago an ex of mine told me I was boring and not fun anymore when i tried to get sober, naturally I was pretty upset about it and naively it sent me back into unhealthy habits so I could be seen as 'fun' and someone worthy of loving. The truth is getting drunk or wrecked every weekend is what is boring, being hungover, scattered or spending every weekend on the couch or in bed eating uber eats is boring, spending your money on drugs and alcohol is boring. Life's more fun when you're fully present. The most fun I've ever had is being sober and what looks boring to some people - going to bed at grandma hour, waking up before the sun, meal prepping, going to the gym, getting outside every day, drinking water etc has created more space for freedom and fun than anything else ever has. So, before you go and think about writing yourself off this weekend or getting a bag or whatever it is you do for kicks, play the tape forward and ask yourself how boring will it make the next day? Is that short term hit really worth losing 2 - 3 days of joy, presence and life for? And how much fun are you actually going to have? Also if you're dating someone and they tell you you're boring, pack your shit and leave. You're worth more than that 💅"

"6 weeks ✨️ I'd be lying if I said the full force of prep hasn't hit. I am tired, sore, my brain is a monkey clapping tambourines off beat 99% of the time & I want to yeet my cat anytime she gets a little too needy (shout out to all the parents who prep not sure how you do it). I'd also be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about pulling the plug on it. It's not that I don't want to take the stage, I really do, it's that sometimes the stories I tell myself still win because I am a human being who realistically is only just on the other side of depression. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not someone who has it all figured out, like everyone else am still learning, growing, evolving & trying to make something better for myself. But I won't quit & I don't plan to quit and here's why; I keep going back to something I wrote a while ago: 'It's easy at first to break promises to yourself & not do the things you said you would. It's easy as first to find an excuse, or put it off until tomorrow. It's easy at first to settle for a job, relationship or a life that didn't turn out how you thought it would. & then one day it's not, one day it becomes the hardest thing in the world & you're left wondering why you’re miserable' One of the main reasons I wanted to take the stage is because I was so tired of letting myself down in almost every area of my life, I was hungry & desperate for change. I was tired of not holding myself to account, finishing anything I started (unless it"