Caluroso

"Note to self: take up journalling rather than putting feelings on the internet, especially during prep 😂 she's back and ready to rumble 😈 #callingmyselfout . . . . . . . . #wbff #wbffaustralia #posing #wbffbikini #fitness #wbfftransformation"

"A few years ago an ex of mine told me I was boring and not fun anymore when i tried to get sober, naturally I was pretty upset about it and naively it sent me back into unhealthy habits so I could be seen as 'fun' and someone worthy of loving. The truth is getting drunk or wrecked every weekend is what is boring, being hungover, scattered or spending every weekend on the couch or in bed eating uber eats is boring, spending your money on drugs and alcohol is boring. Life's more fun when you're fully present. The most fun I've ever had is being sober and what looks boring to some people - going to bed at grandma hour, waking up before the sun, meal prepping, going to the gym, getting outside every day, drinking water etc has created more space for freedom and fun than anything else ever has. So, before you go and think about writing yourself off this weekend or getting a bag or whatever it is you do for kicks, play the tape forward and ask yourself how boring will it make the next day? Is that short term hit really worth losing 2 - 3 days of joy, presence and life for? And how much fun are you actually going to have? Also if you're dating someone and they tell you you're boring, pack your shit and leave. You're worth more than that 💅"

"I was recently going through my camera roll trying to find a photo that showed my most depressed point, what I ended up finding were photos of me smiling which truthfully explains it so much better than any sad photo could. When you think about depression you probably think of someone looking a bit like Eeyore, right? Instincively, you might think of the person who has stopped functioning - no energy to move off the couch, crying all the time, etc and that's true too (i've been both) more commonly though, depression looks like the friend who's happy, or the person who puts everyone else first, or the person who keeps themselves constantly busy. That's the trouble with depression it's frighteningly easy to hide, especially if you're not looking for the subtleties. When I look back at the points that lead up to when I stopped functioning, there were some tell-tale signs along the way to it - my appearance changed pretty drastically, I'd gained a lot of weight, I was unkempt and had no pride in myself, I started to withdraw socially, I was drinking more in both volume and frequency, constantly puffing on a vape to ease my anxiety and mind, I could go on for days tbh. From the outside I'm certain most people would of seen me and thought wow Nikki has really let herself go, I was smiling to the world, so it could be assumed I was fine, yet the truth is I was struggling and hiding it behind a smiling face. It's pretty easy to judge other people, we have all been guilty of it at one point in our lives, yet everyone is fighting battles we all"

"Red Riding Hood Gorgeous model @hotmess_mwahh #ishtarphotography #photooftheday #photo #photographer #photography #photoshoot #makeupartist #model #موديلات #photosessions #photograph #modeling #makeup #trend #photobomb #photoaday #makeup #photowall #photographylovers #makeuptutorial #photomodel #photogenic #photograpy #photoart #fashionstyle #fashionista #fashionblogger #fashionweek"

"The Goddess of the White Fantasy Gorgeous model @nat4_beauty #ishtarphotography #photooftheday #photo #photographer #photography #photoshoot #makeupartist #model #موديلات #photosessions #photograph #modeling #makeup #trend #photobomb #photoaday #makeup #photowall #photographylovers #makeuptutorial #photomodel #photogenic #photograpy #photoart #fashionstyle #fashionista #fashionblogger #fashionweek"

"Gorgeous model @chrissys_modelling_ #ishtarphotography #photooftheday #photo #photographer #photography #photoshoot #makeupartist #model #موديلات #photosessions #photograph #modeling #makeup #trend #photobomb #photoaday #makeup #photowall #photographylovers #makeuptutorial #photomodel #photogenic #photograpy #photoart #fashionstyle #fashionista #fashionblogger #fashionweek"