Caluroso

"5 weeks ✨️ And 1 week until I can announce a lil secret i've been keeping 😜 In the meantime, a bit of Thursday trivia for everyone is up until 22 weeks ago I never really wore heels. Standing at almost 6 foot without them, I always felt like I was too tall and taking up too much space (ahh past Nikki you fool). Excitingly with these 7 inch heels I'll be pushing 6'6 on stage and proudly taking up all the space. 22 weeks ago, I could barely stand in heels for longer than 5 mins. It wasn't until I met @theonlymaheen and she literally gave me the shoes she was wearing to test drive did I really start to get comfortable in them and understand how to pivot from the back foot properly (thanks queen, forever grateful for you ❤️). It's taken practising every day to feel comfortable and confident enough that I won't break a neck on stage in them to get to this point. If you want something bad enough, you'll put in the work to get there - remember that. 5 weeks to peel and refine 👏🙏 Locked, loaded, full send - all gas no brakes (unless it's for a nap) - let's goooo 😈"

"I was recently going through my camera roll trying to find a photo that showed my most depressed point, what I ended up finding were photos of me smiling which truthfully explains it so much better than any sad photo could. When you think about depression you probably think of someone looking a bit like Eeyore, right? Instincively, you might think of the person who has stopped functioning - no energy to move off the couch, crying all the time, etc and that's true too (i've been both) more commonly though, depression looks like the friend who's happy, or the person who puts everyone else first, or the person who keeps themselves constantly busy. That's the trouble with depression it's frighteningly easy to hide, especially if you're not looking for the subtleties. When I look back at the points that lead up to when I stopped functioning, there were some tell-tale signs along the way to it - my appearance changed pretty drastically, I'd gained a lot of weight, I was unkempt and had no pride in myself, I started to withdraw socially, I was drinking more in both volume and frequency, constantly puffing on a vape to ease my anxiety and mind, I could go on for days tbh. From the outside I'm certain most people would of seen me and thought wow Nikki has really let herself go, I was smiling to the world, so it could be assumed I was fine, yet the truth is I was struggling and hiding it behind a smiling face. It's pretty easy to judge other people, we have all been guilty of it at one point in our lives, yet everyone is fighting battles we all"

"Your great life isn't going to be achieved by playing it small, risk being seen in all of your glory ✨️ Own it. Lean into it. Send it 🌞🌻 . . . . . . . . . . . . . #motivation #wbff #fitness #discipline #health #ownitleanintoitsendit #wbffcompetitor #mindset #growthmindset #queen #bigqueenenergy #confidence #empowerment #sobriety #soberissexy #soberlife #alcoholfree #freedom #photoshoot"

"Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is. Gorgeous model @hotmess_mwahh #ishtarphotography #photooftheday #photo #photographer #photography #photoshoot #makeupartist #model #موديلات #photosessions #photograph #modeling #makeup #trend #photobomb #photoaday #makeup #photowall #photographylovers #makeuptutorial #photomodel #photogenic #photograpy #photoart #fashionstyle #fashionista #fashionblogger #fashionweek"

"The Goddess of the White Fantasy Gorgeous model @nat4_beauty #ishtarphotography #photooftheday #photo #photographer #photography #photoshoot #makeupartist #model #موديلات #photosessions #photograph #modeling #makeup #trend #photobomb #photoaday #makeup #photowall #photographylovers #makeuptutorial #photomodel #photogenic #photograpy #photoart #fashionstyle #fashionista #fashionblogger #fashionweek"

"Red Riding Hood Gorgeous model @hotmess_mwahh #ishtarphotography #photooftheday #photo #photographer #photography #photoshoot #makeupartist #model #موديلات #photosessions #photograph #modeling #makeup #trend #photobomb #photoaday #makeup #photowall #photographylovers #makeuptutorial #photomodel #photogenic #photograpy #photoart #fashionstyle #fashionista #fashionblogger #fashionweek"